Wednesday, 28 August 2013

Raks: Things that will irritate my mom

If Raks were writing a blog, I guess this is what she would post...

My mom is obsessed with two things in her life; making me eat mammu (food) and drink milk (yuck!). I have tried to explain the process long back to her. You can put the mammu in the mouth, chew and then you have to spit it out... but no looks like everybody has learnt the lesson wrong and they keep telling me 'Muzhungu' 'Muzhungu' (swallow) every time. So I irritate her by keeping the food in the mouth and hope that a yuga passes by.

The most important thing in life is to colour coordinate your rubber bands to your dress, shoes, accessories and the bag. How can I possibly wear light green coloured bangles for a dark green coloured dress? THEY DON'T MATCH! I think my mom is colour blind! So I insist on the matching bangles through tantrums (that is progressively not working nowadays), crying (that irritates even my supporters at home; grandfather), rants (not working) and threats (works sometimes). When none of this works, I try batting my eyelids and try that adorable smile which works very well on my grandfather and his son, as they scurry about to get me what I want. But I have still not figured out why it doesn't work on my mother and her mother-in-law but it sure does irritate them when the men in the family do my bidding.

Ok. I broke a TV when I was two years old. That was like ages ago. And I don't even remember it. So if I move near the TV, it is not because I want to break it (And how will I watch Chota Bheem?) but because I want to watch Chota Bheem's six pack figure. But still when she ignores me and pays more attention to that laptop of hers, I could get her attention back within no time. I just need to go and stand near the TV and she would immediately look up and say, "Get Back" Mission Accomplished!

'It's time' and 'it's getting late'. Why does she go on with that mantra all the time? She seems to look at the clock more than she looks at me. And when she says that, I get an urge to do everything in slow motion, pick my nose very slowly, repeat the same question countless times and take my time looking through my slipper collection, while a matching pair lies right outside. I wonder if I keep at it for long, if the steam will come out of her ears.

And I just love it when my auto man, muggan uncle listens to 'me' instead of my mom. And he is a sweetheart, who would stop the auto and get me a candy from the shop, just because I requested him with my batting eyelids. And while she fumes and rants, I would smile serenely and sit back chewing the candy...